It’s so easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Or “I’m not doing that bad–Remicade’s got me covered.”
Or “Everyone else is functioning on this lifestyle, I can make it through too.”
Yes, I could do it tomorrow. But tomorrow is always one day off. Yes, Remicade is getting me through tough times, but Remicade isn’t infallible and won’t always be around. I can’t count on health insurance, not in these times. And yes, most of society is functioning on a diet that barely meets its needs. Sure. You can survive on 4 hours of sleep a night, but how good will your life be?
I got caught in that trap again. Brownies are delicious. I love tortillas. Buying ready-made food from Safeway is easy. But none of these are contributing to optimal health.
My gums have been doing badly this summer, partly out of my lack of motivation to lift the head of my bed (yay GERD!), partly out of stress, partly because I’ve been eating too much sugar. It’s the last week in my Remicade cycle, and my diarrhea has come back with a vengeance. I am always tired.*
I know, intellectually, that I need to get pick myself up and start working toward an optimum diet and lifestyle again. I know this. But it is hard to convince my emotional self that is so attached to mashed potatoes and cake and doing as little as opening a can.
Most days I’d rather put my intellectual efforts toward other things. Fashion, gender relations, theology, my theoretical first novel, figuring out where to watch the next episode of Mad Men online because I don’t have cable. But really, after faith first, what good is any of that if my body isn’t functioning correctly.
But I am going at it again–intellectual rationalization. There’s a point where you just have to jump in and do it. And for me, that point starts when I finish the batch of brownies that are sitting on my stove.
Come to think of it, maybe I’ll demonstrate my power over my own cravings by flushing those brownies down the toilet tomorrow. We shall see.
*For full disclosure, I always have been tired, ever since I could remember.