Why I stopped caring about my health

Back in high school, I was a model student. Perfect grades, honors courses, gave a speech at graduation—you know the drill. I liked it when I did a good job at assignments, and when teachers liked me.

To continue being a good student, I learned the “rules” of school (not just the dos and don’ts, but the way that school works), and I got really good at following them. I became exactly what I needed to become to be the best student.

And it worked.

At the end of high school, I got a diploma and a funny hat, and a full-ride scholarship for college.

Now shift to the medical arena. When I was in high school, I was also battling Crohn’s disease. Because I was so good at figuring out how to be a model student at school, I applied that same mindset to becoming the model patient at the clinic.

I took all my meds according to the script. I came to all my doctors appointments, and asked all the right questions.

The problem is, unlike a high school, which is designed to get you a diploma at the end….there’s no “end” in the medical system.

Maybe you go into remission at some point, but you’re not going to earn points or collect badges or graduate. You could stay there forever, if you wanted to.

But I didn’t want to.

hated having to go to the doctor every couple of months. Even when I found the perfect cocktail of medication and was feeling good, I was still plagued by the anxiety that health insurance would eventually come for me.

I decided to stop being an overachiever in a system that didn’t have my best interest at heart.

I decided to quit sitting in the front row, doing my best Hermione Granger impression.

What was I getting out of it, anyway?

Moving to the back row and starting to ask tough questions was one of the best decisions I made for my health, even though it took away my “golden child” status with my doctors and nurses.

Question for you: what decision have you made for yourself regarding your health lately?

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